I am a lazy parent

Sometimes I let my daughter eat a pop-tart for breakfast because we didn’t wake up till 6:45am and there wasn’t time for home cooking. Sometimes I give my daughter a Lunchables for dinner, especially on Mondays when we come home late from her after school program. I downloaded kids’ games on my phone so that she can play when we’re taking the bus. And *gasp* on occasion I even let her watch a non-educational T.V. show!

A good friend of mine recently had her first child. When she was pregnant, this is what I said to her, “Everybody is going to give you advice. They’re going to tell you to never let your child sleep in bed with you. They’re going to tell you that co-sleeping is best for you and your child. They’re going to tell you that breastfeeding is disgusting. They’re going to tell you that formula is poison. Odds are I’m going to give you a few pieces of advice myself. But this, this is the most important thing I can tell you about being a parent: Listen to yourself and when necessary, tell everyone else to go shove it!”

I kind of thought that massive influx of advice would stop when my daughter left infancy, only to find out that everyone else was more capable of potty training and disciplining my toddler than I was. When that was over, it became about where to send her to pre-school. And now, it’s about the chemicals in her food or the dangers of electronic devices. I’m tired of it.

I work from home and so am obviously allotted more time than the average mom. I try to get up early to cook breakfast for my family, but the truth is, I’m not a morning person and I have been known to hit that snooze button a few too many times. I do cook well-balanced dinners every night. I go to every home and school association meeting. I volunteer for every event at my daughter’s school. Did I mention we take the bus to every day? It’s an hour each way. That’s four hours of bus travel every day just to take her to school. I help her with her homework when we get home. We read together every night (ok, once or twice a week my boyfriend will read with her instead). And just when I start to feel good about myself as a parent, somebody’s there to tell me exactly what it is I am doing wrong.

Parenting is exhausting and I love every minute of it. I refuse to let anyone make me feel guilty for those moments when I pull the covers over my head and say “watch a little T.V. I’ll be down in a minute.” Those moments are not as common as they used to be. I used to work an insane schedule just to make sure I kept food on the table. And you know what? Sometimes all I could afford was macaroni and cheese with hot dogs. I do the best I can with what I have. I truly feel for the moms out there who are still in the position that I was in. And I say to them what I said to my friend, “When necessary, tell everyone to shove it!”


4 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by K.L on February 5, 2011 at 9:34 am

    I think every parent has to find their own way and do what works for them. They also need to develop a hard skin, because everyone in the world will have free advice on how to raise their little one(s)….


  2. What a great post. I have no children yet, but I want to be the kind of loving parent you are when I grow up and have mine. I told you my “advice” in private, and I’ll leave it there.


  3. Thank you for sharing your blog with me 🙂 I love the way you write.

    You are an awesome mom. You always have been. They way you interacted with Jayden before my niece was even here solidified that for me. Tell everyone else to shove it. You are amazing. I still tell everyone about how you breastfed and the trials you had to go through to get there. And when I see my niece I see here smile and listen to her talk and watch her play and you know what? I love my brother and know he is no short of a great dad, but I know as a mom, that what I’m seeing in her comes from you! Keep up the great work!

    I love you.

    ps. We really need to figure out a way there. I miss you.


    • Joi, I love you . . . you’re gonna make me cry! Thank you for taking the time to read my posts. I miss you all so much! While I don’t really get to see Jayden much at all, the little updates I hear about him show quite clearly what an amazing mom you are as well!


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