I have a sister, there’s nothing half about her

I grew up an only child wanting nothing more than a brother or a sister. My parents were divorced so I used to beg them both separately. My mom had her tubes tied, so I’d beg her to adopt. Once as a teenager I even offered to be a surrogate. I was mostly joking! My dad and my step-mom tried to get pregnant, but after several miscarriages they stopped.

I didn’t give up hope. Even as I was graduating from college, I said to my dad, “You know? You’re still young enough to have another kid.” He just shook his head at me. A few years later, after I gave birth to my daughter, I told him, “Ok, I give up. I guess I’ll always be an only child.”

When my daughter was two months old I received the phone call I always wanted! I was 25 and finally going to be a big sister! I can’t even describe the excitement. The day my sister was born I walked around the hospital with a giant pink button that said, “I’m the big sister!” People in the elevator looked at me funny. I told them that I waited 25 years for this, and I was going to enjoy every second!

My sister is now five years old and I love her dearly. Our relationship may not be the typical sister relationship, but I would never consider her anything other than my sister. I hear people talk about their half-brothers and half-sisters and it just makes me cringe. It almost feels derogatory to me. I don’t understand the need to clarify with “half”, whether you live together or only see each other once in a while, a sibling is a sibling.

I see parents perpetuating this “half” thing a lot too, referring to their ex’s children as their child’s half-sibling. It beyond irritates me. Maybe I’m making too much out of it. Maybe I’m extra sensitive to it because I waited so long for my sister. I don’t know. I just think that family is family and should be accepted as such.

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3 responses to this post.

  1. […] they were. There are two main blogs that have no comments/”likes” that I feel deserved them! “I have a sister, there’s nothing half about her!” and “Today’s Yard Sale: More than a Financial […]

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  2. Awww, that is awesome! I have 2 older sisters and a brother but I always wished I could have been an older sister instead of the baby. My mom had me late in life as a surprise at 40 and had a hysterectomy when I was 2, so it wasn’t going to happen. I was lucky enough to have nieces born into this world while I was young that became like sisters to me because we are so close in age,though. I am so thankful for that.
    My husband has a younger brother that came from his mother remarrying after she had him and his sister and he has always just called him his brother and so has his family. None of them ever say half brother.

    Reply

    • I remember talking to someone online when my sister was a baby. He said, “Wow, your mom must have surprised!” I told him that my sister was actually my dad and step-mom’s baby, but yeah, they were surprised. He responded with, “Kudos for not saying half-sister.” . . . What was funny was that it had never even occurred to me to say that!

      This post was prompted by my daughter telling me about her soon-to-be step-brother’s half-sister (there were a lot of hyphens in that sentence :P). I corrected her and said, “his sister.” I had a long talk with her about how Erin is *technically* my half-sister because we have different mommies, but that it doesn’t matter because I love her and I don’t consider her anything but my sister.

      I’ve read about your nieces a few times 🙂 I think that’s awesome! It’s like my daughter and my sister. My sister is 5 months younger than Abby, but she’s my daughter’s aunt! They’re the best of friends 🙂

      Reply

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