That was then, this is now

I was looking through some boxes today and came across my Personal Memoirs book from high school. It’s been at least 5 years since I added to it, or even looked at it. I thought it would be fun to take a look and see what’s changed in the last 15 years. Unfortunately, I didn’t date my answers, but I do know about when I wrote them. Here’s a sampling:

If I could change places with someone, who would it be and why?

High school – My mom, so I can see what heaven is like

College – At this point, anyone who has enough money to pay off my creditors

Now – Nobody, I love my life!

My Dreams

College – To have children . . . I want to see their smiling faces. I want to comfort their tears. I want the good and the bad, but mostly the unconditional love. – – – – It’s been more amazing than I could possibly have imagined. I adore every moment with my daughter, even the not so fun ones!

College – I want to write professionally. – – – – I’m still working on this one!

College – To make a difference in the lives of those around me and to in some way affect the world in a positive way that will impact generations to come – – – – I still strive for this every day!

Things to Do (all listed in high school)

  •  Write a novel
  • Have children
  • Travel to Europe
  • Travel the country
  • Live in New York
  • Bungee Jump
  • Sky Dive
  • Publish a book of poetry
  • Live in Italy

The only one of these that I’ve accomplished is to have a child, but it was the most important one. Now here’s to doing the rest of them with her! Well, except maybe bungee jumping and sky diving!

What’s Keeping Me from Achieving What I Want

High School – Worrying too much about the consequences – – – –I’ve managed to cut down on this quite a bit. I certainly still weigh the pros and cons, but I’m not bogged down by all of the “what ifs”.

High School – Being overly influenced by the skepticism of others – – – – I took a huge step against this one when I quit my job in October. It feels wonderful to have faith in myself!

Mid-20’s – Money, or the lack thereof – – – – This can still be an issue at times, but I’ve gotten really good at bargaining my way around money issues.

Pledges to Myself

High School – Be a wonderful mom when the time comes – – – – Even though I have my moments of insecurities, I know I am a great mom . . . and I think my mom would be proud of me.

High School – Become closer to God – – – – This has certainly been an interesting one for me. My path has changed so much in the last 15 years. I have searched through so many different religions and have not found any that fully work for me. It took a long time, but I finally realized that that’s ok. I am now in an extremely happy and comfortable place with my spirituality. I don’t need a name for it.

College – Lose weight – – – – Still working on this one!

College – Always have fun – – – – Every day!

Now – Make a career of writing

Trips to Take

High School – Colorado when I’m 26 to look for Donna (she’ll be 18) – – – – My mom became a foster parent when I was a kid. Donna came into our lives when she was 10 months old and stayed with us for 10 months. I never considered her anything but a sister. She was adopted by a family who lived in Colorado and I was determined to find her when she became an adult. I know if my mom were alive she would have done the same thing. It turns out that I didn’t have to go to Colorado. I knew where her grandmother lived and so showed up at her door one day. I passed along my information and the next day Chris called me! (It took some getting used to, to not call her Donna!) She still lives states away and so I haven’t gotten to see her in person yet, but we stay in contact regularly and I am eternally grateful for that!

Adventures, ones I’ve taken, ones I want to take

High School – Bungee jump, sky dive, and hang glide

Now – Parenthood is by far the biggest adventure of my life!


One response to this post.

  1. Ignoring heredity and upbringing, who we are is the result of the many choices we make every day and how those choices alter the course of our lives. Every once in a while I look back at the choices I made at what I call “critical moments” and wonder how my life would have been different had I made a different choice. What if I chose a attend a different college? What if I went to study abroad instead of staying in the U.S.? What if I had stayed home that night?

    I think its funny when young kids tell me about the elaborate plans they have for when they grow up. They sit there going on about wanting to be a policeman or a doctor, etc. I always encourage them, but in the back of my mind I’m thinking “I wish you all the best, but you have no what life will throw your way.”


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