The color of hunger

I love Stumble Upon. Stumble Upon introduced me to Jake Shimabukuro and the Free Hugs Campaign. Stumble Upon showed me how to make a $200 pen for $17. And tonight, Stumble Upon brought me to Creative Writing Prompts. I asked Abby to pick a number and this is what developed . . .

“Write about the color of hunger,”
said prompt #20.
Interesting . . . given my thoughts just five minutes earlier.
Thoughts about my fat,
my obsession with food,
my “hunger” that really has nothing to do with food.
Thoughts about meaningless calories
as they struggle to fill the void.

What is the color of hunger?
Black for the vast emptiness that drives me to the refrigerator door?
Green for my once favorite shirt that no longer fits? . . . the one I still refuse to donate.
Grey for my new pants? . . . one size larger than the previous pair.
Peach for the color of my extra flesh?
or Blue for my tears when I allow myself to gaze too long into the mirror?

What is the color of hunger?
And what am I hungry for . . . what am I craving?
Not food . . .
because that never satisfies.

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10 responses to this post.

  1. This is beautifully raw and open, Dayle. Thank you for sharing this. You should read The Flat-Belly Diet. It’s neon yellow, so that’s the first thing that makes it awesome. But also, it’s a diet that doesn’t require exercise. So that’s pretty awesome too. It’s yummy. It’s simple. And it has journal prompts that help you figure out what the psychological problems are. So it doesn’t just address the physical issues. P.S. I thought brown was the color of hunger, which, by the way, is my favorite color.

    Reply

    • Thank you, Shawna!

      I’m definitely going to look into the Flat-Belly Diet. I need to get back to exercising, but it’s tough right now because of back and knee pain . . . which, of course, will lessen when I lose weight. It’s this whole really ugly circle that I’m working on breaking! And I like that it addresses the psychological issues as well. I know that is huge for me (obviously). I considered weight loss surgery last year, but decided against it because I know that nothing will change if I don’t fix my head first!

      And I like brown too . . . I like earthy colors.

      Reply

  2. Interesting thoughts, and Stumble Upon is new to me. Hmmm . . . I could get addicted! 🙂

    When I read your question about not knowing what you’re craving, I couldn’t help but think of this quote by one of my favorite thinkers and authors, C.S. Lewis: “If we find ourselves with a desire that nothing in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that we were made for another world.”

    By the way, I think hunger would be the bland, desolate color of sand, reminiscent of the barren desert wasteland that invites its counterpart: thirst.

    Reply

    • Stumble Upon is most definitely addicting! I had the app on my phone for a while. I had to dump it because I would stay up all night stumbling!

      I love the C.S. Lewis quote!

      And I completely agree with your sand analogy.

      Reply

  3. Posted by Anita on August 3, 2011 at 2:24 am

    Beautiful, Dayle! I think the color of any kind of hunger, for any kind of thing or desire, is different for every person; especially women. We see life and wonderful experiences in brilliant and varied colors, but we also see physical and emotional pain, hunger, fear, and loss in a strange array of colors. Each of us is so different that our experiences, our colors, and our “hunger” will also be different. But, I also find it interesting that, with all of our differences, they can sometimes be the same.

    Reply

  4. A stress eater, I can identify. The last line is true about so many things.

    Reply

  5. I’m so inspired by your thoughts in this post, Dayle! It sounds like that prompt really helped you think through your relationship with hunger and food. These years, I’ve emotionally detached myself from food. I eat whenever I feel like it and don’t think too much about it. =) But two years ago, when I was running a lot and saw myself losing weight, I let myself get carried away with counting calories and overate. It was such a scary few months. =(

    Thanks so much for having me think more about this as well!

    Reply

    • Thank you, Sam!

      I have had a love/hate relationship with food all of my life. I screwed up my metabolism in high school with crash diets, starvation, and binging and perging. I’ve been on an incessant yo-yo diet since I was 12 years old. But I think I have finally reached a point where I am ready to take my life back 🙂

      So glad you are not where you were two years ago!

      Reply

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