7 reasons to turn down a marriage proposal

I don’t blog enough. I’ve decided that. Blogging is to me now what journaling was to me in high school and college. No matter how many papers I had to write on topics that did not interest me in the slightest, I could always go home and write what I wanted. Now, I can spend all day writing for my clients, but at the end of the day, I get to write for me. The problem is that I just don’t make the time for it.

So I decided this weekend to try to do this whole post-a-day thing (or at least try to get pretty close to it – at least 4 or 5 days a week). I’ve started mapping out things I want to write about. I even listed upcoming blog topics in my day planner (yes, I know I’m neurotic).

I sat down to write my blog tonight and just came up with complete blanks. I would start writing about something and still there would be a blank page. Delete. I would pick a different topic, but the page stayed blank. Delete. And this continued for about an hour, at which point I remembered my good ol’ friends at Creative Writing Prompts!

This is prompt #296 – 7 reasons to turn down a marriage proposal. Wow, what a perfect topic for the bitter divorcee that I am? ::Smile::

    1. The only sure-fire way to know that you won’t get divorced is to never get married in the first place.
    2. ‘Till death do us part’ is a really long time. Don’t you remember part 3 of Meatloaf’s “Paradise by the Dashboard Light”? —-

      So now I’m praying for the end of time
      To hurry up and arrive
      Cause if I have to spend another minute with you
      I don’t think that I could really survive
      I’ll never break my promise or forget my vow
      But God only knows what I could do right now
      I’m praying for the end of time
      That’s all that I can do, do, doooo
      Praying for the end of time
      So I can end my time with you
    3. You really don’t need the responsibility of caring for an adult child, cause that’s really what marriage is all about . . . you get a fully grown adult child that is NEVER leaving the house!
    4. You enjoy sex.
    5. If you have kids, the tax breaks are WAY better if you’re single.
    6. Valentine’s Day, birthdays and anniversaries can be really freaking expensive.
    7. Let’s face it – sharing sucks! Hell, we all have a little bit of toddler in us!If I want it . . . it’s mine!
      If I give it to you and change my mind later . . . it’s mine!
      If I can take it away from you . . . it’s mine!
      If it’s mine, it will never belong to anyone else . . . no matter what!
      If we are building something together . . . all of the pieces are mine!
      If it looks like mine . . . it’s mine!
      If it’s broken . . . it’s yours!
      ~The Toddler’s Creed

12 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by Tammy W. on September 13, 2011 at 11:19 pm

    Okay, this was pretty funny, Dayle! I miss blogging myself; I do it in my head all the time, but I really need to MAKE the time! Anyhow, I do want to contest #4. I certainly don’t want to start a personal-experience debate, but the general assumptions about married sex are verifiably false. Btw, ever heard of the book “Red Hot Monogamy”?! (Thought you’d at least smile at the title!)


    • Hehe . . . I totally didn’t mean for any of that to be serious 🙂

      I personally don’t put much credence in that piece of paper. If a relationship is going to succeed, it’s going to succeed. If it’s going to fail, it’s going to fail. Regardless of the ring and the paper. The same holds true for a happy sex life!

      I’m also not as anit-marriage as I come off sometimes (but please don’t tell anyone that, I have a rep to protect, ya know).


  2. As an ole married lady…I TOTALLY AGREE…lol. Kidding. Well, sorta. Y’know.


  3. This is hilarious, Dayle!!! Loved it. : ) You crack me up.


  4. HAHAHA! I am currently married, as you know, but I still loved this post and found it hilarious! 🙂
    The last one reminded me of something my hubby’s step dad told him before we were married, “Whatever is yours, is hers and Whatever is hers is HERS.” LOL
    I remind him of this frequently 😉


    • I’m so happy that my happily married friends enjoyed this 🙂 . . . I was worried that some might be offended, but it was all in fun and I’m happy it was taken that way!

      LOL @ “Whatever is yours, is hers and Whatever is hers is HERS.” – I LOVE it!!!


  5. HAHA Dayle, this is hilarious. I had to give a solution to this one…

    “#6-Valentine’s Day, birthdays and anniversaries can be really freaking expensive.”

    My husband and I don’t do anything for holidays, birthdays, etc. It’s not because we don’t celebrate holidays, we would just rather save the money and do something together. We stay FAR away from Valentine’s Day. It’s more fun to have a romantic evening out for no reason at all than to be stuck in a crowded, sweaty restaurant that is serving a limited menu of mediocre food. 🙂


    • ::Smile:: I’m glad you liked it! I had a ton of fun writing this one!

      Oh, forget resturants on Valentine’s Day (or Mother’s Day) . . . I’ve made it quite clear that I’ll be pissed if I have to sit in a restuarant lobby for 3 hours to sit down to a server who can’t keep up with her tables because management understaffed for a holiday or someone called out and then wait extra long to eat, while dealing with a cranky kid . . . yeah, not gonna happen!

      We do exchange gifts, but it’s small stuff. Every year, I tell my boyfriend I want the same thing . . . a card with a special note inside . . . the same goes for my birthday. We don’t really get each other anything for Christmas, but we each take Abby out to get the other one something from her (and it’s done on the cheap!).

      It’s funny, I can balk about marriage all I want, I’m pretty much living like a married person now, just without the ring and paper!


  6. Posted by Anne Katherine on September 18, 2011 at 9:56 pm

    This is hilarious, Dayle. Especially the sharing part… and having an adult child! And the tax breaks 🙂


    • Haha . . . My boyfriend and my daughter are so much alike, it’s really scary!

      And the tax break thing? TOTALLY true! The difference in my refund from when I was married and after I got divorced is staggering! If I ever do get married, it ain’t happening until my daughter moves away to college! LOL


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