Celebrate Bisexuality

In addition to being the first day of Autumn and one of my favorite Sabbats since I was a child (even if I didn’t know that’s what it was at the time), today is also Celebrate Bisexuality Day.

Celebrate Bisexuality Day was first observed in 1999. Wendy Curry, Michael Page and Gigi Raven were all bisexual rights activists. The vision was to “put bisexuality on the map with its call to promote bi visibility and celebrate the wonderful diversity of bisexual lives.”

Bisexuality is often misunderstood, misjudged and grossly stereotyped. I remember going on a road trip with some friends when I was in high school. The driver and the front seat passenger started discussing homosexuality. The passenger’s comment was, “I don’t have a problem with anyone gay or straight, but bisexuals are just greedy and need to make up their minds.” (I might be paraphrasing a bit, but that was the gist.)

In the 15 years since that road trip, I have heard that bisexuals are just confused and haven’t yet “chosen” to be gay or straight.” I have heard that bisexuals are more promiscuous. I have heard that bisexuals are incapable of having a monogamous relationship.

Oh, and the most irritating is that bisexual women only do it to attract straight men. (Thank you pop culture!) This is not to say that those individuals don’t exist, but as Anna Pulley stated in her article on AlterNet, “We call these ladies beersexuals, and yes, they do exist, but not usually outside of college campuses or David Schwimmer parties.”

First off, like heterosexuality and homosexuality, bisexuality is not a choice. Bisexuals have been defined in many different ways, but one all-encompassing definition is that they are individuals who have “the potential to feel attracted to and to engage in sexual and/or romantic relationships with people of any sex or gender.”

The truth is that there are those who will go through a phase of identifying as “bisexual” before accepting themselves as gay or lesbian. And that’s okay. But that does not devalue the identification for those who are truly bisexual.

There are those who deem themselves “bicurious” because they are unsure of their sexuality. And that’s okay too. Some of those who identify as “bicurious” will later identify has straight, gay/lesbian or bi. Someone is not a bicurious solely because he or she lacks sexual experience with a member of the same sex. The term used in that way has always irritated the hell out of me. I’ve never heard anyone called gay-curious or straight-curious just because of a lack of experience.

As for monogamy? Silliness. There is monogamy and non-monogamy amongst all individuals regardless of sexual orientation. Are some bisexuals polyamorous? Of course. So are some heterosexuals and homosexuals. And the same holds true for monogamy. And quite honestly, why is anyone’s sex life any of anyone else’s business?

The point is that human beings are diverse and you cannot lump all bisexuals into a stereotype . . . the same as you can’t lump any other group of people into a stereotype.

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13 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by bryan on September 23, 2011 at 9:27 pm

    Did Mark Rothko create the bisexuality banner?

    Reply

  2. I personally don’t care how others choose to live in regards of gay, straight, bi, w/e.
    It’s weird for me being raised in a Southern Baptist church that spoke out against it all and having the Bible references shown….Since I still consider myself a Christian, some times it’s hard to justify to others how I feel on the matter, but I just think we’re not meant to be the judge and it’s not anyone’s place to say whether it’s right or wrong. I feel like when life ends and everyone goes to wherever they end up at(which is a different opinion for different beliefs too) then that will be dealt with then.
    I’ve had friends who were gay or bi and I had no problems with them, they were basically the same to me as anyone else, just simply had different sexual preferences than me…I didn’t see the point in being hateful or excluding someone JUST because of that.
    I will admit that sometimes I get confused in my head about the whole idea of whether it is right or wrong because of my background, but I simply choose to not worry about it too much. Just let others live their lives and don’t judge….I don’t see how it is hurting me or anyone else if others choose to be with someone of their own sex OR of both sexes….Why make a big deal about it when it’s not really hurting you?

    Not sure how well I did of explaining myself there….

    Reply

    • I understood you 🙂

      The only thing I’ll argue is your choice of the words “choice” and “preference” . . . I think the only choice in the matter is whether or not to accept who you are or fight who you are!

      As for justifying how you feel based on your background, I suggest the film, “For the Bible Told Me So” . . . it’s BRILLIANT! . . . If you have Netflix, it’s available for instant viewing. If you don’t have Netflix, sign up for a free trial, watch it and then you can cancel 😛

      Reply

  3. Just because the way someone else lives their lives may not be what you necessarily agree with or would choose for yourselves, doesn’t mean you can’t still get along with them, be friends with them and just accept that I’m going to do this and you’re going to do that….and that can be OK because we are all different and that’s what makes the world so great….
    And sometimes by being willing to overlook the differences and just accept people for WHO they ARE, you can actually learn something from them.

    Reply

    • “And sometimes by being willing to overlook the differences and just accept people for WHO they ARE, you can actually learn something from them.”

      EXACTLY!!!!!

      Prejudice and bigotry come out of fear and misunderstanding. By taking a moment to listen to those who are different, we can learn quite a bit!

      Imagine how boring the world would be if we weren’t all so different!

      Reply

  4. Thanks for this – I had no idea there was such a day! I am a bisexual woman who’s chosen a polyamorous relationship, and I blog about it at http://www.polygrrl.com, in case anyone is interested.

    Reply

    • Thank you for reading and commenting!

      I have this love for the whole “every day is a holiday” thing, so every so often I scan through the lesser known and sometimes peculiar holidays . . . through one of those scans, I came across Celebrate Bisexuality Day and I have been looking forward to writing this post ever since 🙂

      I read through a bit of your site, though I haven’t gotten to your blog yet. I LOVE what I’ve read so far and bookmarked your site so I can go back when I have more time 🙂

      Reply

  5. […] I’ve been working on writing this in my head for some time now. It started this past September. I told my boyfriend what I wanted to write about. He asked me if I was sure I wanted to do that. I said, “I don’t know.” I chickened out and wrote this not-nearly-as-personal post instead. […]

    Reply

  6. […] asked me if I was sure I wanted to do that. I said, “I don’t know.” I chickened out and wrote this not-nearly-as-personal post […]

    Reply

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