Today is a new day, again

I’ve struggled with motivation a lot the past several weeks – as I’ve mentioned in previous check-ins. It would be super easy for me give in right now and say screw it. But today is a new day . . . again.

While I was struggling, I was still losing, but the past couple of weeks have been awful. I’ve ordered pizza a few times. I ate glazed donates. I indulged on chocolately goodness. I’ve had a few bottles of Mountain Dew. That all being said, I have been out and about moving A LOT. I may not have had strict workouts, but I consider traveling through the city carrying a half a dozen bags a work out!

Still, I know I’ve gained weight in the past couple of weeks . . . I do not, however, believe that I gained as much as the Wii Fit tells me I did and here’s why –  Up until Saturday, we lived in my bedroom.

By we, I mean my boyfriend, my daughter and myself. And by live, I mean slept (well, my daughter moved back to her bedroom for sleeping when school started), ate, worked, watched TV and well, everything else but go to the bathroom and cook. My bedroom’s the only room in the house with air conditioning so during the summers our only TV, both of our computers and the ferret cage all migrate upstairs.

Week 9: October 3, 2011 --- 326.1 lbs.

On Saturday, we moved back downstairs. Now, first off, my house is slanted. I’m serious. I’m surprised I haven’t written a blog post yet about how screwed up my house is. Then there are the carpets – the upstairs is much different from the downstairs. So, I don’t expect the Wii Fit measurements to be exactly the same from upstairs to downstairs. But, for the sake of record keeping, I will stick with the new weight, which is 326.1 lbs.

It feels as if I’m back where I started two months ago . . . but I’m not. Because all that running around I did these past couple of weeks? I did it without the ridiculous back pain (that’s not to say I’m pain free – just back to the functional pain).

When I started this, I promised to document the ups and the downs, the high points and the low. So, as much as I’d like to hold off on these check-ins until I’m back at a “loss”, I won’t do it.

This morning when I came home from taking Abby to her bus, I did 20 minutes of Tae Bo. I’m hoping to slowly build myself up to the full DVD over the next few weeks. Kes also has a Walk Away the Pounds DVD and I’m planning on buying zumba and step aerobics DVDs. I figure if I can keep it different, I’ll be more likely to stick with it. I get bored easily.

I’m starting my Energy and Mood Journal over because I completely abandoned that. I’ll share it next week when there is actually something to share.

Not a full length pic, but this was from right around the time I met Kes - about 4 years ago - around 250 lbs.

I was reading through old journals last night because I’m trying to gather my poetry. I found some entries from my last super successful diet. The check-in put me around 250 lbs. I said to Kes, “do you realize I was 75 lbs. lighter when we first met?” It’s amazing how you don’t notice so much as the weight is coming on.

The prospect of losing 165+ lbs. is extremely daunting. I’ve decided to set mini goals and rewards for myself. My first goal is 299 lbs. My reward will be a mani/pedi.

So, here is to another new day and another new start! The lesson is that even if you slip up, you can still move forward!

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10 responses to this post.

  1. Mini goals sounds like a great idea. I myself am starting the weight loss quest too. I have about 60lb I want to drop and I’m already doubting myself. I think I’ll talk your mini goal idea and run with it.

    Good luck and I can’t wait to see the progress.

    Reply

    • Thanks for coming by and thank you for the well wishes!

      I am so ridiculously tired of this yo-yo thing. I’ve been doing it for 20 years. I’m done. My long term goal is to fit into my senior prom dress (gods, if I can even find it!), but that could very easily be a couple of years away. 299 is attainable in relatively near future. I can see it. I can almost reach it.

      I used to set a ton of mini goals. I’d say, “ok, first goal is 299, then my next goal is 275 and then 240” and so on and so forth. That doesn’t work for me because I’m still always looking at the goal after the one I’m working towards. When I reach 299, I’ll come up with the next one 🙂

      P.S. I’ve been reading through your blog and love it so far . . . I’ll be commenting shortly 🙂

      Reply

  2. I absolutely love how you end your post optimistically, Dayle! Your optimism sure was contagious during our group this evening! =) Thanks so much for rubbing off on me. =)

    Also love your idea of rewards for mini goals! Maybe I should set that up for my mini goals in the group! =)

    Reply

    • Thank you so much, Sam!

      It’s extraordinarily humorous to me that anyone finds positivity in me . . . I spent many years of life overtly pessimistic!

      It’s interesting how similar this venture is to the money group venture! I definitely feel like we are all on our way to many successes 🙂

      Reply

  3. I love your attitude about all of this. I agree with you on the WiiFit thing…I don’t have the game, but my family in Austin does and my mom weighed and then one minute later, weighed again and it had her gaining weight….So don’t let what it says get you down.
    I look back at pictures of when I was around 250 and I think to myself, “Wow….I was looking pretty good back then, I look so much skinnier” and it’s crazy to me how when I WAS that size, I never saw THAT. I looked in the mirror and saw myself as being so big and I felt like I was just as big as I was when I was around 320….but I wasn’t. People would tell me I was looking so good and compliment me and I never believed them….But now that I have gained so much weight back, I wish I HAD believed them. I wish I had seen it…why don’t we see how good we have it when we do instead of years later? 😦
    I see these girls who have dropped tons of weight but still have body issues as if they never have lost it and I can relate to feeling like that…..and then I feel bad for them because I wish they could see what I, myself, missed once…..
    I honestly don’t know what it’s going to take for me to have my motivation back…maybe getting new depression medicine will..I go next week to talk to a professional about it…crossing my fingers it will help.
    In the meantime, I wish the best for you in this process. You are so inspiring to me…it might not seem that way since I’m not really taking the necessary steps myself even as I see YOU do so, but you ARE inspiring. Especially when I see you have the setbacks, yet you are not quitting. Never give up! I know you have what it takes! 🙂

    Reply

    • Thank you!

      Sadly, the Wii Fit is more accurate than my kitchen scale – which fluctuates 15-20 lbs. in a matter of seconds! But I *really* think it’s my slanted house, not so much the scale! Seriously, you can stand in my dining room looking into the living room and see that my couch is tilted! LOL

      It’s amazing what perspective can do to us. I’m sure if I gained 100 lbs., I’d look back on me now and think I looked great! The weight loss is important to me for many reasons (some for health and some superficial), but it is just as, if not more, important to work on liking myself for who I am right now – fat and all!

      Good luck with the doc! Depression can definitely affect motivation and I absolutely think new meds could help!

      It’s super, super important to me to be completely honest during this process – and that means divulging my screw ups. They’re a part of life and completely natural. There have been so many times that I’ve slipped up dieting and from that point decided that I can’t do it. I’m done with that!

      I’ve said it before, but it’s worth repeating — you will get there when YOU are ready and I will be here ready to cheer you on when you are!

      ::HUGS::

      Reply

  4. Posted by Anita on October 8, 2011 at 7:06 pm

    Don’t ever give up! We all take a few steps back or slip sometimes, but getting back up is what makes us winners! You are woman, and you can do ANYTHING!

    Reply

  5. Posted by geni on February 2, 2012 at 12:05 pm

    I have never had a weight problem (that wasn’t in my head) until this past year. I stumbled across your blog looking for something completely different in a google search. I started reading and of pure curiosity and I am thankful that I did. It has inspired me to but more effort into getting my weight back under control. It has also reminded me that I am only human and it is ok to slip up from time to time. Mini goals is something I plan to use in more than just the “battle of the buldge” but other aspects of my life as well. Bless you for sharing! Best of luck to you, may you reach all your goals and be blessed with an abundance of love and happiness!

    Reply

    • Hi Geni and thank you for reading and commenting!

      I may not have been having the best success lately, but my feeling is that I can’t fail until I give up, so as long as I keep pushing forward and keeping trying, I will get there! And you will too!

      All the best to you in your journey, both with weight loss and in life! ❤

      Reply

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