Tired and overwhelmed

I’ve been all about the push for productivity. Work, family, clean the house, Home & School, fuzzies, work, family, friends, writing, work. On and on and on and it never ends.

I crashed over the weekend. I’m not sure if it was because of a looming illness, the fact that I’m pre-menstrual or I was just burnt out. Regardless of the cause, I slept and I slept and I slept. And within a few hours after waking up, I felt like I needed to sleep again.

I told a friend yesterday that I am trying to find a happy medium between superwoman and lazy bum. I still don’t know where that is.

My daughter’s school is having a holiday pot luck tomorrow. This morning I was trying to figure out what I could bake when my boyfriend told me to go buy something or make boxed brownies. I gasped and told him I couldn’t do that. He asked me why. I jokingly said, “I got a rep to protect.” (Kudos to whoever had a Grease 2 flash after reading that.)

Kes responded with, “See, that’s your problem. Admit that you’re human and you can’t do everything.”

“I can’t make boxed brownies. My mom would roll over in her grave!”

And the conversation continued.

But it’s true. I need to admit that I’m human and can’t do everything. This run myself ragged and then crash and burn thing is just not working.

The problem is that I just don’t know where to make the cuts.

I’m tired. I’m overwhelmed. Again.

It’s been the ongoing cycle of my life. Do what I have to do. Push through cause it needs to get done. If I want it done right, I’ll do it myself.

I am proud of the things I have accomplished in my life. I am proud of my ability to take care of what needs taking care of, regardless of the cost. I’m just starting to feel like I’m the one who needs taking care of now.

“Sacrifice is not a virtue. Joy is not a sin.” ~Paulo Coelho

***I know this is not my typical upbeat post. We all have our moments. This was mine. I did intend this to be my check-in post, but all of this is what came out. I did eat really well all week (save a cheesesteak over the weekend, but I don’t think one splurge in a week is a bad thing). And I did get myself out and about much more than usual.***

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12 responses to this post.

  1. This made me laugh: “a happy medium between superwoman and lazy bum”! Don’t all moms know that feeling?
    And it is so hard to know where to make the cuts when you are so driven to, for instance, never make boxed brownies! But you do need to give yourself a break somewhere….let yourself slide somewhere that is maybe not desirable but acceptable to you. In some way that’s not going to affect your reputation, of course 🙂
    CONGRATS, though for sticking with the good eating esp. at this time of year!

    Reply

    • Thank you, Anne!

      I cut back on a lot of things the past couple of weeks. I’m slowly catching up now and am hoping to be “normal” by Monday. I’ve also made a decision to just say no!

      Reply

  2. 1. Sometimes we all need to vent. As far as I’m concerned, if you can’t let it all out in a blog, where can you???
    2. An object in motion stays in motion…an object on her ass stays on her ass! 😉 Or at least that’s what I keep saying to myself. I blame the laws of physics for only having 2 speeds…all or nothing. You’re not alone!
    3. I HEAR YOU! Boxed brownies are WRONG. Anything BOXED is WRONG. Now that I’ve said that, if you have a *good* brownie recipe, please share??? Its the one bane of my existence. I can do everything else from scratch…but brownies. I’ve tried at least 5 recipes, and none of them were good enough. Not that I should bake brownies…*sigh*
    4. You’re doing fantastic. You’re keeping yourself together during the holidays. Give yourself a pat on the back for that, if nothing else. And if you need to make the boxed brownies…do it. Your mom may not approve, but I’ll bet you NO ONE ELSE WILL EVEN NOTICE! *sigh*

    Reply

    • Hehe . . . I’m okay with boxed brownies when I’m making them as a treat for my boyfriend and daughter. But when bringing baked goods to a party or event, it has to be homemade!

      I do not have a decent recipe for “normal” brownies, BUT I have an awesome recipe for butterscotch brownies! If you’re interested, I’ll definitely share 🙂

      Thank you so much for your support!

      Reply

  3. Posted by Ginny Layton on December 21, 2011 at 12:36 am

    Right there with you! I hobbled into the school with my Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer cupcakes (4 of them were Orange-nosed as I ran out of red M&Ms) platter in one hand, basket with pretty green bow– filled with jars of cookie dough dry ingredient mix dressed in holiday style for the teachers and assorted sprinkles for the class cookie decorating station and bag of candy in the other hand. A friend saw me and said, “Ginny Layton! You should NOT be doing this. And with my 20 in leg immobilizer on one leg, I “Dr. Housed” it to the office and decided my friend was right. As hard as it was, I let someone else carry my goodies to the K classroom three halls and one building over and had to let myself know that whoever took it would not do as I did but that it would be OK. And when Knox got home from school, he said it was the best day EVER! (Even without me micromanaging it!!!) And the teacher thanked me for the basket which I did not intend to leave, but hey, one less thing to gather dust around here. So, it will be OK if you let someone else pitch in every now and then– and if you put Symphony Bars between halves of the batter, boxed brownies aren’t all that bad! 😉

    Reply

    • LOVE the Symphony Bar idea . . . It was too late for the holiday pot luck (and the boxed brownies were completely botched anyway, so I accepted that me setting up the whole thing was enough – I didn’t need to bring food!).

      Thank you so much for letting me know I’m not alone! Why do we do these things to ourselves? Good for you for stepping back and I totally love your attitude about the basket 🙂

      It’s always amazing to me how much we go over the top for our kids . . . when they are just as happy with so much less. Last year, I couldn’t afford a birthday party for my daughter. I had a talk with her about how we would have a special dinner, but there would not be a big party. My aunt threw some decorations up and we got together at her house with my cousins and their kids. Very simple. Abby’s reaction? “This is the best birthday EVER!” . . . Just like Knox 🙂

      Reply

  4. Oh, Dayle, I am nodding my head too! I get into the same superwoman vs. lazy bum (as if there is no other choice!). I let go of a few things this year – no Christmas cards, and not getting yearly photo book done on time, and it felt really good. Sometimes I have to stop and realize that I can choose to do the things that matter (like making homemade things in some cases, boxed is okay for others). And even my foodie friends tell me that brownie mixes are really great and worth the time savings (esp if you insert gourmet ingredients like Ginny suggests – another friend advises putting large choc chunks in with the batter!). Hugs to you on this busy holiday–enjoy enjoy!!

    Reply

    • I loved your post, “Wrapping it Up”! It’s amazing how much more enjoyable to holidays become – for us, for our friends and families, for our kids . . . for us . . . when we slow down and focus on the things we really enjoy. 🙂

      Reply

  5. Oh Dayle, I feel ya! “I told a friend yesterday that I am trying to find a happy medium between superwoman and lazy bum. I still don’t know where that is.” I have a tendency to do this too. Then I end up in pain, cranky and miserable, all because I “got a lot done” one day. The bad makes the good feel not so good anymore! But know this, you are an AMAZING mother and an AMAZING writer, and one of the most inspiring people I know. (And we’ve never even met in person)! I hope your holiday weekend is stress-free and joy-filled. HUGS!!

    Reply

    • Thank you so much, Jen!

      I stepped back a lot and it was definitely worth it. I’m slowly getting back to “normal” now . . . without all the added stress of shopping, baking, decorating, wrapping, etc. etc. etc. I think I can settle into something that somewhat resembles a schedule 😀

      I hope you have a fabulous Christmas!

      Reply

  6. I can really relate to this post! There have been so many times at work when I tried to do it all by myself. Because I thought like you – if I want it done right I have to do it myself, plus I hated asking for help, because that showed weakness. But I’ve learned that one person can’t do it all, and when you try to, you just end up stressed out. It’s okay to ask for help. It’s okay to take the time to take care of yourself. You should be proud of all that you’ve accomplished! You are a strong person, and even strong people need help and rest every now and then. 🙂

    As a supervisor, I also learned that if I don’t delegate tasks to my people, they will never have the opportunity to learn and grow. Looking at like that made it easier for me to let go and not try to do everything myself. But that doesn’t really have anything to do with your post… LOL

    And in case I’m not back this way in the next few days… Merry Christmas!!!! Relax and enjoy them!

    P.S. I don’t think that there is anything wrong with making brownies from a box. That’s the only way I know how to bake! lol

    Reply

    • The supervisor thing definitely relates here! I was a supervisor once and this “do it myself” attitude definitely affected me there!

      Thank you so much! “It’s okay to ask for help. It’s okay to take the time to take care of yourself.” . . . I keep trying to remind myself of that!

      Hehe, I bake from a box when it’s just for here, but for anywhere else, it’s from scratch. I do love doing it. I used to bake with my mom all the time and now it’s something I enjoy doing with my daughter. But sometimes, there’s just not time. And I’m starting to accept that 🙂

      I hope you had a wonderful Christmas!

      Reply

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