This whole SAHM vs. working mom thing

It’s been blowing up my Facebook feed the past few days – this issue of working mothers and stay-at-home mothers. I haven’t made any comments because my thoughts on this won’t fit into those little boxes.

I have been a stay-at-home mom. I have been a working mom. I am currently a work-at-home mom. I think I have a little bit of experience from which to draw here!

I read all about Hilary Rosen’s comment about Ann Romney. What I find interesting is that all this outrage is regarding a comment Rosen made about Romney. She never said that stay-at-home moms have never worked a day in their lives. She said that Ann Romney has never worked a day in her life.

There is a huge difference there.

Ann Romney replied that she made a choice to stay home and raise her five sons. I wonder how many working moms actually made a choice to work. I didn’t. I worked because I needed to. I worked because my child needed to eat. She needed a roof over her head. She needed diapers and clothes.

I didn’t make a choice to stay home either. I lost my job – one at a company that paid significantly higher than other companies in its field. I started doing the math for what the other companies would pay me. I would have made enough money to cover day care and travel with maybe $30-40 a week left over.

I did make a choice to quit my job a year and a half ago so that I could pursue a freelance career. But it was not an easy choice. I had to re-budget, plan every shopping trip, say “no” to a lot of things. I struggled. I worked super long hours. And I did it all so that I could spend more time with my daughter.

I’ve never had millions in the bank. I’ve never hired a cook or a housekeeper and while I was home, I never paid for any kind of child care. And I think I’d be pretty safe in guessing that vast majority of stay-at-home moms haven’t either!

And that right there was the purpose for Rosen’s comment – that Ann Romney is not any kind of authority on the issue of women’s financial struggles.


4 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by Karen Garnica on April 15, 2012 at 11:40 pm

    very true


  2. “What I find interesting is that all this outrage is regarding a comment Rosen made about Romney. She never said that stay-at-home moms have never worked a day in their lives. She said that Ann Romney has never worked a day in her life.”

    EXACTLY. I think being able to stay at home with your kids is a huge blessing, and I truly think it’s the best option for the child. However, I find that a LOT of stay-at-home moms are very defensive if their choice is called into question. It’s frustrating as someone who will never be able to afford to do it. I wish women could just stick together instead of trying to cut each other down, especially women who don’t live the same type of lifestyle. No one thinks staying at home with kids is no work, BUT so many women work full time AND take care of a house full of kids, so when SAHM’s get snippy and act a little martyr-ish, it’s a tad irritating. 🙂


    • Having done both, I can honestly say that I worked just as hard when I stayed home as I did when I worked. Yes, I had to work and take care of my daughter, but my house was not nearly as messy (toddlers can do A LOT of damage when they’re home all day!), I didn’t have to cook as many meals, and I got to take a full hour break every day with peace and quiet! But I’m quite certain that Ann Romney never had to worry about picking up after her toddlers or cleaning her house(s) and I’m sure if she wanted an hour or two of peace and quiet, she could get it!

      I think it’s silly for moms to argue over who works harder . . . parenting is tough no matter what your circumstance. But that was no where near the point Rosen was making. She was trying to start a war on SAHMs. It had *nothing* to do with SAHMs. It had everything to do with the ridiculousness of Mitt Romney saying that he defers to his wife on the issue of women’s pay. She cannot, in any way, relate to women (not just moms – not only is this not a SAHM mom thing, it wasn’t a mom thing at all!) who struggle financially.

      Gotta love the constant diversions from the real issues with stupid shhh . . . stuff like this!

      ::Sigh:: Okay, I think I’m done for now 😛


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