I might be something

Lying . . .
drifting . . .
nearing unconsciousness,
smoke hypnotizes the dust in the air.
I reason with my cigarette
as I stumble down the rabbit hole . . .
the world so tiny inside my soul . . .
pulling at heartstrings.
You spin me ’round just to pin me down on the cover of this strange bed.
I watch the stars and wait patiently for the darkness . . .
every time I see your face inside this little sin
I want to put my fist through the glass,
watch it shatter and cut
while I bleed crimson droplets . . .
sweet taste of desperation
exasperation
penetration
curled up in a puddle of my own shame.

Spin me ’round just to pin me down, I’ll be gone by the night’s end . . .
all I am
all I was
left in ashes tossed and blown away.
You stare through me,
burn through me
with pity
and contempt
and resentment.
I’ve built my dreams around you
but I was never really there . . .
never inside you the way you were inside me.
A hurricane of sounds
of syllables that form some kind of coherency . . .
I won’t regret saying this, this thing that I’m saying . . .
words that need speaking
and repeating
and repeating
and repeating
and repeating . . .
words that may one day stop the bleeding . . .
start the healing . . .
because you wouldn’t believe the most amazing things that can come from some terrible lies.
I’ll be the difference between what should be
and what will be . . .
cocooned inside your impassive expression
forever etched into my consciousness . . .
you talk about the world like it’s some place that you’ve been
but passport stamps don’t translate into living.
I’m not the nothing I feel in your presence . . .
I’m not the emptiness inside your heart.
Mark my words, I might be something someday.

Songs Sampled ~~~

I reason with my cigarette – Pumped Up Kicks by Foster the People

Spin me ’round just to pin me down on the cover of this strange bed / Spin me ’round just to pin me down, I’ll be gone by the night’s end – Home by Mumford & Sons

Every time I see your face inside this little sin – Little Sin by Walk off the Earth

I’ve built my dreams around you – Fairytale of New York by Pogues

I won’t regret saying this, this thing that I’m saying – Call it Off by Tegan and Sara

You wouldn’t believe the most amazing things that can come from some terrible lies – Some Nights by Fun

You talk about the world like it’s some place that you’ve been – Broadway by Goo Goo Dolls

Mark my words, I might be something someday – Someday by Tegan and Sara

Photo Credit

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2 responses to this post.

  1. Love this – you do a great job of these! I could feel the frustration and pain. I do love that line “reason with my cigarette!”

    Reply

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