I’m gonna write dammit!

Just writeI never really liked the whole New Year’s resolution thing. We all set goals for ourselves throughout the year. We achieve some and fail miserably at others, but we continue to set goals in an effort to better ourselves. So what’s the purpose of choosing a date solely because it’s the first of a new year? It’s a silly little play into mob mentality. And I’ve never had much interest in being a part of the mob.

However, I am a self-described obsessive compulsive, especially when it comes to any kind of record keeping. So, when I decided to make a commitment to write on a daily basis, I chose the first of the year as the start date for a 1-year blogging goal . . . because it’s neat and organized and I love neat and organized (so long as it doesn’t apply to the state of my house or my hair).

I’ve gone through several periods of my life when I’ve stopped writing. Sometimes it lasted for a few months, but more often than not, it lasted for a few years. In high school, I was forced to write on a daily basis. In addition to the usual English class, I had three writing classes every day. And then I would go home and write in journal . . . if not daily, pretty damn close to it.

When I graduated from high school, I started to flake out on my writing. The rate of my journal writing and poetry writing dropped significantly and after a while, I just stopped all together. Every so many years, I’d get a rush of inspiration that would last several days or weeks or sometimes even months. And then, inevitably, I’d flake out again.

Sometimes it’s pure laziness. I’m overworked and tired and just don’t feel like producing any coherent thoughts on paper or screen. Sometimes it’s because of depression and anxiety. The words that want to come out of my fingertips are often the most difficult ones to see in print. Sometimes I just struggle to find my muse. She hides at times or my vision becomes cloudy and I can’t find her.

Over the past couple of years, my flaking out has become much less frequent. All of the reasons and excuses put aside, the infrequency of my flaking out has been simply because I’ve sat down at the computer, opened up a Word doc, and just allowed my fingers to dance across the keys. I just write. I stop worrying about perfection and just write. I stop worrying about coherency and just write. I stop worrying about the pain of reading the words that bleed my memories into black and white and just write. I stop searching for my muse and simply allow her to find her way through my veins and I just write.

And that’s all I’m going to do. I’ll forget the excuses and the reasons, as legitimate as they might be. The only way to make it happen is to put my fingers on the keys (or a pen in my hand, though I seem to have much more success with fingers on keys) and just write.

I’m gonna write dammit . . . because I can, because I must, because I know I’m better when I do.

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7 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by Karen on January 1, 2013 at 9:42 am

    write girlfriend write – I bought myself a nutri bullet yesterday and today I will have my first juice, last year I resolved to exercise daily, and while I didn’t, I did almost each day, and this year I am better for it, this year it’s vitamins, I want to look and more importantly feel younger. I never in the past did resolutions, but I am liking them, most of all, I like the New Year because it’s a fresh start, full of possibilities for a better year, a better life

    Reply

    • Thank you, Karen!

      If the New Year’s resolution thing works for you, that’s awesome and I say keep going for it! For the majority, I think it ends becoming a bunch of hype that dies down after a few weeks . . . but I am all about whatever works!

      Good luck with your juicer and vitamins! You actually reminded me that I have juicer buried on the bottom shelf in my kitchen . . . maybe I’ll dig it out 🙂

      Reply

  2. You are awesome, Dayle. Glad you’re doing this. I’ll be reading and supporting you. While I can’t say that I’ll write every day in 2013, I’m in an upswing w/ my writing too. May we travel on this journey together! 🙂

    Reply

    • Thanks, Jared!

      I’ve been happy to see you writing so much lately too and I will definitely be reading and supporting you as well. 🙂 Here’s to motivation and no more excuses! (We’ll see how long it takes before I’m kicking myself in the ass for this . . . in which case, maybe that will count as exercise for the new year?)

      Reply

  3. Woohoo! You know I’ll be dropping by and asking if I don’t see the daily posts, hehe! We are in this together, posting daily! 🙂

    Reply

  4. […] kindred spirit in my blogging friend Dayle and I’m glad to have met her. She is also doing a Post a Day in 2013 just like me and it’s nice to have someone else doing it too to motivate […]

    Reply

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