What’s the point?

What's the pointI’m beginning to question this whole blog-every-day thing. I’m 3 months in to my 1-year goal and I’m feeling a bit burnt out. I don’t want to post a bunch of drivel. I don’t want this blog to pile up with written excrement. And I just don’t always feel like writing anything at all.

Sometimes the days and weeks are long and the idea of stringing together a coherent thought, much less something thought-provoking and meaningful, is enough make me long for cold pillows and warm blankets. Sometimes I’ve spent so much time online working (and yeah, putzing around) that I just want to slam the laptop closed and walk away. Sometimes no matter how many words I put on a page, nothing seems to come out properly and I question my abilities as a writer.

Sometimes I just don’t want to write. I don’t want to blog. And really, what’s the big deal if I don’t? The world won’t crumble to pieces if I skip a day blogging. Hell, I doubt many (anyone?) would notice. So what’s the purpose of this everyday blogging goal?

The more I think about it, the answer’s pretty simple – the more I write . . . well, the more I write. The fact that I’m blurting out this random nothingness right now means that I had to actually sit in front of my computer screen and open up a Word doc. When it’s finished, I’ll save it in the April 2013 folder, which is pretty damn close to my poetry folder and my short story folder and my novel folder. And going through this whole process makes me more likely to open up one of those folders and start working.

I first started this blog just over two years ago because I was really starting to focus on a freelance career, but I had few samples under my belt. It had been years since I had written regularly and I thought this would help. And it has . . . in more ways than I had intended.

I’ve come to love the blogging world. I love the interaction . . . the ability to connect with people on such a personal level in a way that’s (mostly) comfortable for me and my whole social anxiety thing. I love the community. I’ve met some truly amazing people all because of blogging.

Blogging has also awakened every part of my writing spirit, which has lain dormant for so long. Just the act of writing, of blogging, makes me want to write more. Whether I’m blogging about my family or about important political issues or books and movies or just answering silly meme questions, it keeps me constantly thinking about words . . . and this act of blogging is going to help me stop half-assing it through my books . . . to actually finish one or two or all three of them . . . I’ve even started looking at publishers for one that is almost complete.

So even though tonight is one of those times I would rather close the laptop and walk away, I decided to blog anyway. I used to be forced to write several times a day . . . and then I would go home and write some more because once I start, I feel the need to keep going.

Maybe it’s not imperative that I skip zero days of blogging over the course of a year, but it’s an exercise in dedication, in building a habit . . . some kind of routine and commitment . . . and while sometimes what I write will be drivel, it will also be a step towards something better.

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8 responses to this post.

  1. Do what makes you feel happy. Maybe writing doesnt nymore. It doesnt mean you wont ever write again. I gave up poetry when I was in my mid 20’s. Its rare thing anymore but does happen occasionally. If you feel blah, and have no reason to get up and do something “responsible”….start by doing something that will make you feel good. Hey, it is a start. Hang in there Dayle.

    Reply

    • Thanks, Sarah . . . . It feels good to stay on top of my goal. I’ve spent many years avoiding writing and that has never made me happy. Sometimes I don’t feel like writing, but I never regret it after I’ve done it . . . . so even if it’s not making me happy in the moment, it’s propelling me towards something positive 🙂

      Reply

  2. Posted by Karen on April 5, 2013 at 7:22 am

    Hi Dayle, I heard Delia Ephron speak last year about her writing, she said the most important thing she did was to write 4 hours per day, rain or shine, the discipline she said was most important. I think you could write a sentence or two, or post a paragraph from something else you have written on the days you don’t feel like blogging. One sentence from you would be a worthwhile read for me and can be thought provoking. This particular piece struck me because I often feel like this with regard to art or writing. I applaud you for writing last night even tho you didn’t want to.

    Reply

    • I wish I could spend 4 hours a day writing . . . . well, writing what I want to write! I think that’s part of it for me. I’m writing professionally again, after a long time of mostly editing. I need to seriously separate the two . . . the writing for work and the writing for my soul.

      Thank you, Karen! . . . . I would love to see you write again . . . . and I would love to see your paintings! I’m still pushing for you to start a blog 🙂

      Reply

  3. I had my own dialogue going as I read this…at the beginning, I was like, NO, she’s going to quit the daily posting 😦 and I was so bummed out and then I read where you said you didn’t think many or anyone? would notice and I yelled at the computer, “I would notice!” Then I saw you weren’t going to stop blogging daily and I was like, “Whew, good!”
    I totally get what you’re saying since this is my second time around with the daily blogging….the first time around, I had a TON of days where I felt like I was doing nothing on my post but filling space with stupid words that bored people to death. This time around, I don’t have as many of those days, but I DO sometimes think certain days it might be better if I hadn’t wrote anything….but then, like you said, the discipline is good for you. It’s great to get into a routine and I also feel the more I write, the better I get. I don’t always feel that way, though. I sometimes feel my writing sucks…then I get a comment from someone that they thought what I thought just sucked was one of my best posts to them. So maybe there’s something to be said for perspective.
    Personally, I LOVE everything you write, even when you write about not knowing what to write or not feeling like writing. I absolutely just love to read your writing. A lot of it because I can relate and others just because I think your writing flows so well and is just easy to read! 🙂

    Reply

    • Hehehe, loved your dialogue! When I wrote the “anyone?” bit, I almost added “except Sharon. I know Sharon would notice” 😛

      Thank you so much! I think I start to feel bad for anyone who get email notifications of my posts . . . like I’m spamming them with pointless crap . . . . but I’m not losing any blog followers, so I guess it’s not bothering anyone!

      I completely get you on feeling like something sucks and then everyone else loving it! Of course, I usually hate everything I write a week after writing it 😛

      Reply

  4. No Dayle!! Keep going! What a an amazingly ambitious goal! I’m so impressed with your drive and tenacity to keep at it…that alone shows serious commitment, something I think is imperative to being a good writer. You go girl! I wish I had your literary spirit. If it helps you inspire me to set loftier goals and expand myself. You have a great way with words…it would be a shame NOT to let them loose. Drivel schmivel…I’m the queen of drivel 😉 Now go and watch History of Rap 1-4!

    Reply

    • Thank you so much, Lisa! I have a couple of your posts saved on Instapaper to read . . . I was so excited to see you post!

      And hahahaha, I LOVE the HIstory of Rap!!!

      Reply

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