Dear Mental Illness

Dear Mental Illness,

Whether you are taking the form of anxiety or depression today or, as has often been the case lately, both, I want you to leave. You’ve been holding me down and keeping me from the people and activities I love. I am tired of your oppression.

You’ve always been with me, long before I even knew you were there. You helped guide my childhood and adolescence. I thought naming you would finally give me the power, but for as much as I’ve grown, you have as well.

I miss the things I used to do. I miss the person I used to be. You’ve pushed her so far inside of me that I sometimes don’t know if she can claw her way back out.

I no longer recognize the face in the mirror. You’ve tainted my perceptions and sent me into an abyss of self-loathing. I struggle to take care of myself because you’ve convinced me that I’m not worth the effort.

There have been times when I thought I was over you, but you find ways of creeping up on me. I realize now that you will never truly leave me. Your hold on me is too strong to ever dissipate completely.

But I will fight, and I will regain control. I will learn to overcome the effects you have on my life. I will move on.

I will never become the person I once was because I will become better. Your reign is coming to an end.

Signed,
Faking it till I make it

_______________________________________

This post was inspired by today’s WordPress Daily Prompt, though I have taken some liberties – Write a letter to the personality trait you like least, convincing it to shape up or ship out. Be as threatening, theatrical, or thoroughly charming as is necessary to get the job done.

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5 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by Karen on June 17, 2013 at 9:49 pm

    hope he’s gone soon, kick his ass out, banish him, I love the way you wrote about this tough tough subject – there’s got to be a fix that doesn’t require a semi coma, we just need to find it

    Reply

    • I’m working on it. I finally met with my therapist this week. We have to skip next week because she doesn’t have anything open, but then I’ll be going every week . . . . and as soon as I get my blood work done, I can make an appointment for med . . . . and I already told them no SSRIs!

      Reply

  2. […] Dear Mental Illness | I shall be a toad […]

    Reply

  3. Posted by manon1979 on June 19, 2013 at 12:23 am

    Keep up the fight. No doubts in my mind you will win.

    Reply

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